Overcoming fears: hiking through “what ifs” and a fear of heights

Do hiking, canoeing, backcountry camping or car camping force you to face your fears? In this guest post, my backcountry camping partner Cheryl explains her mental battles. She wrote this after our 8-day, 90k hike along the La Cloche Silhouette Trail at Killarney Provincial Park.

I truly believe this hike was equal amounts mental and physical. Maybe more mental.

And it started before I put one boot on the trail.

In the days leading up to our trip, my brain was overloaded with all possible “what ifs”, each involving various degrees of plausibility. What if I twisted an ankle four days in. What if a bear ate our food. What if someone got sick. What if a monster serpent of Loch Ness proportions emerged from Three Narrows and swallowed Kyra whole, leaving me alone and without the Personal Locator Beacon, that was, in an ironic twist wrought with chapter-ending suspense, carried by … Kyra.

You get the idea.

At night, in the tent, I would listen to podcasts that I had downloaded at the last minute, to distract my mind from the next day’s hike. 

The words, “almost 30-metre vertical descent”, printed in bold lettering on our map to describe a steep section of trail after H21, weighed on my mind for the first three days.

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Cheryl on Three Narrows Lake, contemplating the next day’s 30-metre vertical descent?

This trip, more than any others I’ve done, taught me to “be” in the moment. Breathe. Experience. Enjoy the journey. I reminded myself to do this throughout the day.

Kyra is right: I’m not a fan of heights. 

Sometimes, in the midst of descending a steep, rocky section of the trail near the top of a mountain peak, and fighting a heavy pack that always seemed to push you forward, looking out into the distance was scary.

I learned to focus on the path in front of me. One step. Then another. And maybe, in a moment of either planned courage or unfortunate miscalculation, I’d sneak a peek at the stunning view that extended below my feet.

Some days were long, and we were exhausted by the time we reached camp. I think the human body, and the inner spirit, is designed to just keep going, when there’s no other viable option available,  like asking Kyra for a piggy back out.

I’m very proud of our accomplishment. And, oddly, I am both relieved that I’m home, and sad that I don’t have one more day in front of me, in Killarney.

Cheryl

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Cheryl at the bottom of the 30-metre vertical descent.
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Packing list: 8-day, 90k hike along the entire length of the La Cloche Silhouette Trail, Killarney Provincial Park

Here is a complete list of what my friend Cheryl and I packed for an 8-day, 90k hike along the full length of the La Cloche Silhouette Trail at Killarney Provincial Park, and notes on things we did not use.

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My trusty bag.

Clothing (including what I was wearing):

  • 2 bras
  • 3 pairs underwear
  • 5 pairs socks
  • 1 pair zip-off pants
  • 2 t-shirts
  • 1 long sleeved shirt
  • 1 fleece sweater
  • 1 rain coat
  • 1 rain pants
  • 1 winter hat
  • 1 fleece gloves
  • 1 long johns top and bottom
  • 1 pair hiking boots
  • 1 pair sandals
  • 1 wide brimmed hat
  • 1 bug jacket (not used)
  • compression bag for clothes/pillow
  • sunglasses
  • quick dry towel
  • toiletries

Kitchen:

  • 2 bowls
  • 2 spoons
  • 1 dishcloth
  • 1 six cup pot and lid
  • 1 pot lid lifter
  • dish soap
  • pancake flipper
  • parchment paper
  • a few coffee filters if needed for water filtering (not used)
  • 1 insulated mug
  • 1 nalgene bottle (400 ml)
  • 2 large ziplocs marked with a line at 2L for treating water
  • water treatment drops
  • 2 water bladders (2 L size)
  • MSR Dragonfly stove
  • MSR Dragonfly stove servicing kit
  • Outback oven tea cosy
  • Outback oven scorch protector
  • Matches (several boxes)
  • 700 ml white fuel split between 2 bottles of 325 ml (one filled up, one filled to the maximum fill line)
  • 1 Swiss army knife
  • 1 pocket knife (not used)
  • 1 bear bag with bell on it (waterproof bag)
  • 1 bear bag without bell on it (waterproof bag) (not used)
  • rope for hanging bear bag
  • homemade tarp plus thin lightweight rope
  • food!

Sleeping: 

  • 1 Sierra Designs Zilla 2 tent
  • 1 MEC Perseus -7 sleeping bag
  • 1 North Face -7 sleeping bag
  • 1 silk liner
  • 1 fleece liner
  • 2 thermarests 3/4 length
  • 2 compression bags for sleeping bags
  • 2 bags for thermarests

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Our tent/shelter setup.

Miscellaneous: 

  • 2 headlamps with extra batteries
  • 1 bear spray (not used)
  • 1 bug spray (not used)
  • 1 sunblock
  • 2 cameras with extra batteries
  • 1 camera tripod
  • 1 Jeffsmap
  • 1 compass (not used)
  • 1 GPS with extra batteries
  • 2 cell phones
  • 1 ResQLink emergency beacon (not used)
  • 2 driver’s licences, credit cards and money
  • 1 emergency kit (Gorilla tape, buckles, dental floss, notepad and pencil, matches, mini bungees, emergency blanket, firestarting materials, needle and thread, benadryl)
  • 1 first aid kit (miscellaneous bandaids, gauze, tape, compression wrap)
  • hiking poles
  • pen
  • trail description
  • 6 rolls toilet paper (used 5 1/2)
  • 2 backpack rain covers
  • 2 whistles
  • 1 lightweight saw (not used)
  • 1 vehicle key!

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Emergency kit.

Cheryl and I discussed everything we brought, and decided that we wouldn’t leave anything behind next time!

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Trip planning: kayak tripping

Have you ever considered kayak camping instead of canoe camping? Check out my guest post on the Algonquin Outfitters blog for trip and route planning suggestions. You’ll find tips for packing your kayak, things to consider when planning a trip, the differences between kayak and canoe tripping, and suggested places to paddle.

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